What I Learned While Working for Darth Vader

Mr. Vader

Even Vader suits up in a way that would bring a tear to Barney Stinson’s eye.

“Uhmm…yea…if you could just have that blog done by…uhmm…tomorrow that’d be great…yea.”

Who hasn’t had a boss at some point in their lives that they haven’t reviled?  I am in no way an exception to this.  My teenage years of employment were wasted on hours of stocking shelfs, manning cash registers, and gathering carts.  Now as I was preforming these tedious tasks I can remember thinking to myself in a Leave it to Beaver type attitude, “y’know what’ll make this better!?! A boss who treats me like a hebrew slave! Gee, wouldn’t that be fun!”  Well to my dismay I was utterly mistaken.  Now, don’t get me wrong I have had my share of amazing and caring managers making it easy to stroll into work on a daily basis.  I have been blessed to work with, I say with because a good superior never sees his employees as working under min, these managers over the years, but no one likes the good guys anymore.  It doesn’t make for the most interesting stories.  Always being a glass half full kind’ve guy and constantly searching the clouds for silver strands I never allow negativity to damper my day.  So if you are being faced with a boss who breaths down your neck or puts you on edge constantly, just keep your head up.  Look on the bright side, or dark side, at least Darth Vader’s not your boss.  Although, what if he was?  How would we cope with a boss like that?  Here’s how to survive a sentence with a supervisor that doesn’t sit well or maybe they sit all to well, with there feet kicked up, screaming through a bullhorn as you are left to scurry off to fetch them their morning coffee.  By the way you got the wrong creamer.

Fake It- Fake being forced chocked!  Imperial Officer Motti could have found this advice useful.  Sometimes the best thing to do is just nod mindlessly and allow your boss to rant.  He’ll never know.  Just smile, nod, and count down the minutes to him, most likely, storming off.  Some people do not feel important unless they are talking down to others and if the subject at hand is not that critical, just let it go.  Hey you helped him feel like an important guy!  You’re such a nice person.

Blend In- The Storm Troopers had the right idea.  Dress the same, walk the same, and speak when spoken to, just blend in and you lessen your chances of upsetting anyone.  So what, you’re a crappy shot sometimes. Vader will never know the difference between you or any other guy missing that wide open, critical opportunity to slay Han and re-imprison the Princess, right?  There is no issues with standing out to your fellow co-workers, but don’t get caught with your pants down at the water cooler making fun of your bosses voice.  It will most likely end with him silencing yours.

Go for the Donuts- I do not advise making it a habit to learn life lessons from Americas favorite cartoon father Homer Simpson, but here is something he had down.  Go to work for the coffee and donuts. Just work and collect the paycheck.  No one ever said you had to be buddy-buddy with your boss.  Now this means work, not sleeping in your swivel chair, wearing glasses with open eyes doodled on them.  Earn your keep and do not stoop to becoming known as the slacker at your job.

Become the Boss- One of my all time favorite movie bosses is Bill Lumbergh!  Unfortunately for Peter Gibbons this man was not just some hilarious character in a comical movie, this was his life and he hated Lumbergh!   He did something about it though, I’m not suggesting you go on a quest to find a hypnotherapist.  Also do not start slacking off at work and definitely pay your bills.  I guess now that I think of it, making it to the top by being lazy is not the best way to go at it.  Although, he did, well…steal money from his company. O.K., o.k.,  I am now realizing that Peter Gibbons may not be the prime example of a great achiever, oh well, he became the boss!  Work hard and become the boss!

Learn to Love It!- Jim Halpert worked for a paper company that even he himself, as he explained his job to the camera crew, saw it as an incredibly monotonous task.  He sold paper.  On top of this his supervisor was Michael Scott, although vastly caring for his employees, he was exceedingly inappropriate, awkward, and had no boundaries.  Michael Scott is the most unprofessional supervisor ever!  Jim learned, not only to deal with this by understanding this was Michael’s nature, but he also found ways to enjoy his eight hour shift.  Mainly by pranking his desk neighbor Dwight.  Find a way to enjoy your job.  Look forward to seeing a co-worker, taking your lunch-break outside on a bench, abuse those discounts!  Whatever it may be, even if it’s a few harmless pranks, find the silver lining and realize if you walk in with a negative attitude you will only end up enhancing the animosity you have towards the job.

I think it is important that we take the time to discuss how, no matter the circumstances with a job, we should all be thankful we have a source of income.  Also our attitudes will be the key factor in our enjoyment in anything in life.  If we go into work with the mindset of being the best at it and taking pride in our achievements and accomplishments, no boss or situation can ruin that.  we are there to work, not be accommodated to.  This by no means gives anyone the right to trample all over us like pavement, but pick which battles are worth swinging for.  If we argue over every minuscule incident that bothers us, then our shift will convert into a mini war zone.  Do not allow that to happen because there’s only one outcome; our own frustration, stress, and discomfort.







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